Team Ayu English

Right now

2011-03-05T14:29:00.000+09:00

So today, on twitter I was talking to TA members from overseas, and like, I was thinking it'd be nice to write in both Japanese and English here as much as I can.
I know there are people who do know this and there are people who don't, so I'll tell you just in case, for foreigner fans who don't live in Japan, there are rreeeaaaaalllly alot of barriers keeping them from joining TA.
They all work frantically to clear those barriers, however, and are still able to become TA members.
But still, they finally log in only to see nothing but Japanese language.
For example, when you guys open my twitter page and you're just inundated with all this english... you say "I feel lonely," or "Ayu seems distant," or "I don't understand," I'm sure there are many people who feel like this, right? All feeling the same thing.
For all the foreign TA members, I bet it's like this all the time. Maybe they're feeling sad or irritated or something too.
Of course, happiness comes first, right?☆
Well, I'm not them so I can't be totally sure of course.
But I've lately been in situations where I couldn't use any language but English, so over and over again I sense the importance of language and communication. When I'm in America, my family and friends naturally all speak English. They can't understand more than a little Japanese. If I want to share my thoughts with someone, there are no other choices available to me.
However, as far as my English goes, I didn't study it well in school, so whenever it was necessary, whenever I had a moment of emotion, I couldn't find words that the other person could understand.
Of course it's my own decision, one that I'll be dealing with, to get rid of that problem.☆ But yeah, if I just lied and said I thought it was gonna be a pretty picture, that wouldn't be honest.
So having said all this, I've got the feeling across, in conclusion, Chon-san (<-- been a long time since I called myself that) has put forth the effort to explain, and now she will be working on her English reading and writing in order to communicate with the overseas TA members yo!!
That's what I'm thinking.
They're part of the TA circle, why should they feel alienated???
Japanese TA members work desperately to achieve various things too, in order to stay here. I understand, and I'm thankful for it. There'll never be a day that I forget about it.
To put it another way, ALL of you are the same, you know! (*^_^*)
The language you may find being used at TA may change, but I'm proud of TA, the love I feel for all of you is the same! (*^^*)v
Transcending all else, all TA members all over the world, we are all one family!!
As long as I feel that, I don't need anything else. I'm happy!!!!!!!!!!
Today again, everyone should live with all their strength under the same sky (^_-)-*
And now, from everyone in the overseas team who is now falling asleep, when the moon starts to become visible, we'll pass along the smiles we give to the reassuring sunshine, ne!!

[347] Yesterday,

2008-11-27T13:13:00.000+09:00

I don't think I explained enough about the televising of the last day in Yoyogi~

November 30th, on TBS-channel..... it'll be on. Um... wait, what time was it on again? hahahaha

Oh well, everyone can look here on the site to see. XD!!!

Chonchan is SO reliable!!!!

Well I have to be, this is a very serious matter!

We only had 90 minutes of broadcast time to take advantage of, so it can't be the whole complete show uncut.

Although I've recieved messages from some people saying "Please at least show all the songs!", Yoyogi's last day was in total 2 1/2 hours long at least, so leaving the whole show intact is impossible.

But, I was able to give it a perfectly delicious (haha) edit, so please look forward to it~~~~ (^_^)v

And incidentally, Countdown Live will also be airing on TBS-channel, as a live broadcast, everything from my brain, until the very last moment. o/~

So now, thanks to modern convenience, even people who can't make it to Yoyogi can join in the show together with us, helping the show reach new heights with all their hearts, for the full 3 1/2 hours!!!

Every mistake I make with song lyrics & performing & such, all that, you'll see everything in realtime for 3 1/2 hours straight! So no pressure or anything. XD

And now, the talk leaps over to Cardboard Panel Ryoji. lol

Um, you know... there were some people who sent extremely nice messages.

"Ryoji-kun doesn't have a nickname, he should be Paneeji, how's that?"

What a high level~~~~~~!!!!!! I laughed hysterically!!

He's unhampered in various ways (lol) as far as being an example of a cardboard cut-out, so I think there's no nickname better for him than "Paneji".

We're sooooo using it----!!!!

So anyway, I gotta get back to work on the new song...

Nin-chon vanish!

[346] That reminds me...

2008-11-26T21:34:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

I didn't explain something to everyone in a detailed & accurate way, and I noticed this, but it's hard to explain~.

The concert that I most recently finished work on is, at the end of this month (wow that's actually really soon, isn't it?) coming on TV, and it's the last day in Yoyogi.

There was a restriction on how long a show it could be when aired on TV, so it was a very hard fight choosing what songs and what faces would be in it.

Because I wanted to make it the best!!!!

That's how I am every day.

Tomorrow it'll be on, so please look forward to amusements and handkerchief carrying. XD

Well then, this year I'm gonna do Kouhaku~~~

ninchonvanish.

[345] Woooow...

2008-11-26T19:33:00.000+09:00

(Translation by: Delirium-Zer0)

Amazing...

The number of blog comments, it's just an incredible amount.

Everyone who considered participating in this great plan, and everyone who approved of it, I truly thank you.

I don't think I was so moved even on my own birthday! (T_T)

Because we are, whether very far away from each other or very close to each other, always profoundly and deeply connected to each other.

People who got a hold of their network so quickly, REALLY thank you so much!!!!!!!!

I wanna join this network of yours too. Let me in! LOL

For the time being, I can say without error...

Team "Ta" is the strongest!! <(`_')>!!!!!!!!!

[344] Congratulations

2008-11-26T16:33:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

Those of you who got the a-nation DVD today, before its actual release, after my cardboard cutout comment, many thanks. (lol)

However, everyone in team "Ta" is very clever.

The meaning of "cardboard cutout", and the people who saw the moment of quickly changing into a cardboard cutout, there were many of you!! clap-clap-clap~*
You watched AUDIENCE alone not less than 10 times, and my inbox was full of comments about it. You did very well, team "Ta"!!!!

But the real release date is tomorrow, so after this there'll be alot more people watching it, and they'll see it and they'll want to solve the cardboard cutout mystery too, I think.

Huh??????? Released tomorrow......

I say this because perhaps, or rather certainly, the release date is also the day Zin was born.

Teeheeheehee.....

Well then, now comes the most important question.

Starting awhile ago, regarding today, MANY messages from everyone came, with the request that "Team "Ta" needs to wish Zin a happy birthday~~~", and it was very deeply moving.

Of course, I completely agree. (^_-)-*

There...

To Zin's blog, the moment it turns 0:00 midnight, everyone simultaneously send a Happy Birthday message, okay???

Buu~uuut, it'll be midnight in 30 minutes. Just in case there aren't enough members seeing my writing in time, do some networking and tell everyone please~!!!

And from here, everyone will be able to see our indefatigable power of unity!!!!! Yay!!!!!

Alright everyone, be at the ready! Yoroshiku<(`_')>

[343] That's right!!!

2008-11-26T01:11:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Perhaps, was the street date broken for a-nation's release today???

Yes, yes it was.

I happened to say recently that I was able to be a talented cardboard cutout.

"AUDIENCE" especially was perfect, I noticed. (lol)
Please, don't take your eyes off of that one. (ROFL)

Because you can see me quickly change into a cardboard cut-out! Don't miss it!!!

[342] Band rehearsal,

2008-11-25T19:08:00.000+09:00

Day 3.

After this amount of time the band still hasn't quite reached full maturity, but they're bending over backwards to get there.

Incidentally, yesterday's band rehearsal went until 3 AM (!!), continuing under Shingo-boss' instruction...

And although they are super, top rank musicians, better musicians than I am, they are still practicing very intensively every day, staying up late, past midnight, and I am so grateful that they are doing this, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Starting tomorrow, dance rehearsals are starting at last.

If I keep talking like this here today, my eyes are gonna turn into Benzo-san part 2, I think...

As for me, I'm keeping on with the concert planning!!!!!

I can't wait until I can see all you TA members' wonderful faces! o/~

Jeez, I was crying though, while i was planning the concert. Hahaha.

Ninnnnnjjaaaa vannniiiisssh-cho.

[341] Forgot to say!!!

2008-11-25T04:55:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

Sou's blog has reached new heights. (lol)

That guy seems to have created a new persona, a person who's honestly very... darkly interesting. (LOL)*

My staff members Bancho, Minazo, Gori and Sou are meeting up alot on their off time. o/~

[340] Once in awhile,

2008-11-25T04:29:00.000+09:00

I appear at about this time.

Today I'm not doing too well because the weather is just not at all good, but even on sunny days, I'm still not doing well at this time of day.

Because I loathe it. (lol)

I find the sunlight incredibly bright, and when it gets in my eyes, I vigorously run to cloooooooooooooooossse those curtains! (_ _)/

But ugh, it's useless.

Mowaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~n...* (・o・)

It gets like that and my creative impulses just don't work at all.

Since Chonchan is like this today, she comes here just to talk about trivial things.

Recently, my little Cocoa took a bath all by himself.

More precisely, before I knew it, he'd invaded the bathtub to go for a swim.

Amazing --- a puppy?????

I went over to the bathtub, singing to myself "Time for a baaaath"... but it was already too late - Cocoa was already in there.

The moment I first saw him in there, I'm not sure why really, but I gave out this huge cry, screaming in a big voice, "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

Because you never think about a dog being there, right?
During bathtime you're completely unprepared for that, right?

He was just swimming, all splishy-splashy. Hahaha.

Most recently in the shower, I've been thinking that if I get out, I might find him again, feeling good doing his own thing in the bathtub now that he's able, and that would be funny.

Mm-hmmmmmm..... Cocoa, don't you make that Hello Kitty face at me.

Even though when it's wet, it becomes more like a rat face.

Nin-chon Vanish.

[339] Indian

2008-11-23T21:00:00.000+09:00

tradition seems to have been broken - Chonchan does her best and "Indozin"'s blog gets an update~.

Well, awhile ago, I was able to successfully finish writing the lyrics (^_^)v and I handed them over to the arranger.

Now, starting today we'll start confirming the sound source for band rehearsals.

Woooooowww~ hearing this song & that song, I'm able to hear the current band member's performances, and they're not based on the performance produced back then, so there's a somehow luxurious feeling.

Even Peco from day one has been working hard on her own ultrasonic waves. Perhaps she can get dolphins to gather around! LOL

Peco & Princess are doing a great job memorizing the lyrics. (^0^; ).

And now, presenting our newest member who'll be doing things with us for the first time, Yuusuke!!! Do your best!

Well I say that there, but really I want everyone to do their best-------!!!!

As for me, planning the concert is still not finished, so I have to go back to work again.

Hm, that.

What is today?

Or rather, when did today start and when is it ending?

Or rather, who sells that sort of deep V-neck T-shirt?

...Ramen.

[338] Eventually,

2008-11-23T12:12:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

Once I noticed, I had gone from then until about 11:00, totally immersed in the lyrics as though possessed.

But after coming to my senses & seeing the clock, I was as surprised as you'd expect. 11:00? lol

It's lunchtime? Yeah, I guess it is! XD

So I hurried up & took a nap, and temporarily went back to work on the concert, and after this the lyric-writing will continue-----.

I feel so spirited! ROFL

Oh yeah, yesterday, I wrote GREEN as GERRN. How can anyone read that! XD

But ya know...

You're here. With that alone, my heart becomes very warm. So. (*^_^*)

I still have a ways to go~.

[337] So now...

2008-11-22T23:59:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

The two people indespensible to Ayumi Hamasaki's sound when recording TO BE and LOVE, the director Kome and the engineer Morimoto, are working on the closing stages of the song's production. Since they're JUST BARELY gonna make the deadline, they're working very very hard without sleeping. (>_<)!!!!!!

And they got to a point where I was able to hear it just now, but...

I am full of emotion (T_T)

After the ear thing happened, and even before that, my vocal style has always been changing. I can't sing in the same ways, and even from now on my key will lower over time, a variety of things happen, and I can't help but have feelings of regret.

Since then, I've always thought that I've been using those regrets as a springboard to jump from, somehow putting forth a wholehearted effort to, in my own way, create songs that have always come from a free heart, so I could help lots of different people.

And then, even songs that reach high F like GREEN & TO BE became singable.
Up until then, I could sing high C or C# or so. Which is to say, my vocal range has extended by 3 notes.

It isn't impossible! I can say this with confidence.

If I achieve my goals, I change.

But now I must carry that considerable resolution on my shoulders.

To everyone, up until now and beyond, I want to deliver you Hamasaki Ayumi, and now seeing this, I want you to feel peace of mind, and I want you to smile.

This feeling has been able to inspire me.

When I did the acapella at the beginning of each concert on this tour, it was an indication of this purpose.

So what next----?!

A little bit ago, the god of Lyrics (not Zin, haha*) FINALLY came down-------------!(^^)!
Well, starting now, I must be the Lyricist Chonchan. o/~

Just by thinking of you, my heart holds onto the meaning of living.

*Ayu calls Zin "Kami no Ko (God's Child)", and he calls her "Hama no Ko (Beach Child)". I don't usually translate Kami no Ko literally since in English, it sounds awkward and possibly offensive to some. In any case, it doesn't mean what ayu means, so. I usually just leave it as "Zin". But I thought I'd leave the note here because you need to get the joke this time. :P

[336] Could this be the end?

2008-11-22T21:03:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

WWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN

WWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN NN

Yes, everyone in team "Ta", Chonchan's diary is updated.

And...

I can say "Ta" with confidence!!! Zinchon??? (Cracking up)
But, it's amusing, so I'll allow it. XD

Well, today I'm having a complete hermit-day.
I'm always facing the PC, so I'm turning into a cardboard cut-out.

Yeeaaahhh, still haven't been able to write any lyrics.

Because the melodies haven't been narrowed down yet!ヽ(^0^)ノヽ(^0^)ノヽ(^0^)ノ

Basically, the steps for writing haven't been taken!ヽ(^0^)ノヽ(^0^)ノ

Haaa...

The composers wrote many many good songs, so over the course of the day today, it was narrowed down to 3 or 4 compositions.
The arrangers too have to crank out some really good music, so I'm worried~~~~~~.

Incidentally, among the candidate songs, there's one composition that I did myself. (Been awhile, huh~?

But, just because it's my little baby doesn't mean it'll get picked! lol.

To the last, I'll head for my objective.
I'll pick the song with pure, unbiased feelings.

I'm continuing working into the long night, and although I've turned into a cardboard cut out, I'll keep on with the effort.

Without any magic tricks or anything, I think there's no way any cardboard cutout could ever surpass this one.

I'm talking & explaining for a very long time again. lol

Well then, work work work.

niiiinja vanish!

[335] Finally...

2008-11-22T11:10:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

It has begun--------!!!

The Premium Countdown Live ticket requests!!

Compared to average years, this year's battle for the tickets seems to be on a very large scale. (>_<)

I'll say that there's this one thing I can do, there will be alot of people in one place, and alot of them might be by themselves, so we'll keep doing trial & error, fighting against various rules, pushing the limits of fire safety laws & such, so as many guests can be in the hall as possible...

But really I'll do my best!!!
Even same-day tickets, too! Even if it takes until the end of the show, some seats will definitely start emptying out and we will search diligently to find one and put you there!!!!!

Yeah, we'll absolutely do this.(`_´)＞

But then, we take the TA side of things very seriously so you'll be fine.

Well, anyway, everyone, please be calm. lol

Alright then, I'll see ya later (^_-)-*

[334] Ah,

2008-11-21T21:02:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

I forgot to say!!!

A new Today's Photo is gonna go up after this~!
Look forward to it! (^_-)-*

And...

Zin is returning to his usual self.
Thanks to the strength of all your love, guys~~~~ (*^_^*)

[333] yawn stretch

2008-11-21T20:54:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

Absolutely, I am an alien from planet Yawnstretch.
I gotta tell you, it's like my ears are having out-of-body experience. (*smile*)

Because today, recording was not hampered!!!

The two songs TO BE & LOVE were recorded continuously with no break in between, though. (*sweat*)
In the original versions of each song I sang very "iiiiiiiii" high-pitched sorts of sounds, so while doing it, the sound broke some of the cells inside my body. XD

Especially TO BE!!! This song has to have some of the most high-pitched "iiiii"s of any Ayumi Hamasaki song, did you ever notice that?
Those of you who understand, it's such a high level!!!

It was such an ultrasonic high-pitched sound that I think I could probably successfully talk to dolphins with it. XD

But I did safely finish, which is a relief~.

Now's not the time to write about that though!!!

Starting day after tomorrow, new song recording will start. And they are two new songs--...

But I haven't written the lyrics yet. Not one single word. XD

How am I gonna do this???!!!

Somehow, right?

So, although what I've written about isn't easy to understand, I met up with Zin, Kayanocchi, and Maro about CDL after today's recording was finished-----.

I was able to see my comrades' smiling faces, and the cells that broke before came back to life~~~!

But Maro was wearing this t-shirt whose V-neck was way too low, it sorta raised the undercurrent tension in the room. XD

Well! From here, work on the concert continues!

There's still more to go, Chonchan's day never ends!

A princess who doesn't sleep can't become Sleeping Beauty.

[332] Very quickly

2008-11-20T21:59:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

...it seems the nails photo was uploaded (^_-)-*

The art was done after a long time with my nails cut short~.
The acrylic extensions were taken off and given a rest~.
No makeup at all, of course!!! (just like usual, haha)

And as you might expect, unless I keep things light & simple, I can't get through obstacles! Especially not this month!!!

There's alot of behind the scenes work, hahaha.

So, changing the subject, after seeing my comments awhile ago, everyone immediately sent their feelings to Zin, it seems.

Whenever something like this happens, the unity of everyone in TA isn't hampered at all, and support always comes so quickly. This underlying feeling of selfless love truly makes my heart feel warm and moves me to tears.

We truly are all connected.

In the end, I have to put an end to the thinking that the PC is only a one-sided means of communication, but...

I should have been able to feel that way when "communication" was something I believed to have understood.

Even the the characters for the word "communication" seem like they hold feelings of human kindness in them. (*^_^*)

Well, after this I'm headed into the meeting about CDL~!
I'm gonna say everything on my mind, even though I'm sleepy. (lol)

And tomorrow I'll be preparing to record 2 songs, going ahead & editing what I've written (lol)

Oh sh--!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That yell was forced out against my will. XD

niiinnnnja vaaaannniiiisssh o/~

[331] Oh for pete's sake.

2008-11-20T18:13:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

Hey, in weekly magazines doesn't it seem like me & Shu-chan are together? (lol)

I'm able to write & tell you things that are going on with me, so when these people who don't know everything write things, fundamentally, there's something wrong with that.

So not long ago, Ohji told my staff & me, "Hey, this is a pretty interesting news story that's appearing!" about just that topic.

SERIOUSLY cracking up!!!

First of all, Shu-chan (still hadn't heard) didn't come in, but Zin (who hadn't heard either) came in and when he heard it, he and Bancho were both laughing. (lol)

What the heck! XD

If everyone in TA finds it THIS high level of interesting, I'm sure you can understand, right? (>y<) And yet everyone in TA knows more about this topic than ever before. Pretty shocking behavior, isn't it? (lol)

Also, the photos used, from Zin's blog, are very conveniently only-sorta-cited, but the publisher was generally guessing.

As for that, I supplied photos for Zin's blog!

The photos were offered voluntarily, they kinda became my own magazine material... But don't you think that the people who wrote THIS story are strangers? (LOL)

Considerably high levels of interesting.

Fully just digging into places.

Aaaaaah, no good. Now we're just giving them more to feed on. XD

One last thing...

I have no problems with you guys seeing Zin & Peco & everyone's blogs, but as for the photos I take and I give to them, please keep in mind they're only for use on blogs!! You can download them of course.

That said, for photos placed only on TA, that's not quite true, but in my own way, I differentiate it.

What I"m saying is, naturally I've got to put photos up here at TA, but when people put them in non-TA places, it's rough for people to see them because they're taken out of context, so that's better not to do.

So, I'm hoping you guys will check everyone's blogs.

Because I'm deciding that the person arbitarily publishing my photos without permission isn't on this team, so. ☆

That place, yoroshiku de~su(^_-)-☆**

Everyone understands that kind of thing, yeah? (^_^

Zin is saying "It's all my fault! I'm gonna close my blog!!!" and stuff, and he's seriously upset, I think.

Of course laugh after he says that. (Sorry, Zin, lol)

Zin, who's turned this type of serious, is really just incredibly amusing when he's alone, yelling "What the heeeeeeeey!!!" (lol)

He's like a great older brother, that guy~ (*^_^*)
Everyone, please give Zin your encouragement! (*^_^*)(*^_^*)(*^_^*)

So, now that that type of thing is done with, the dance practice isn't interfering with me continuing to update the blog, haha!

So now that I've said that, Suba-sma, keep blogging!!!
Suba-sama also lately has had to work on alot of songs, and he thought of giving up the blogging, so yesterday on the phone I gave him some fighting spirit!~(*^_^*)

Right now I'm writing during a nail change, so KAZ will upload the photo he's taking.

They're uber-cute!! ～～～～～～∈^0^∋∈^0^∋∈^0^∋♪

Look forward to it~(^_^)v

[330] SOU's Blog

2008-11-19T19:19:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

...is very dangerous!!

The tea I gulped down has come right back. (lol)

From now on, anyone who looks at this blog should please avoid eating or drinking at the same time. XD

[329] Having turned 30,

2008-11-19T14:51:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

...what the heck should Ayumi Hamasaki sing about...?

I completed the two new songs "GREEN" and "Days" thinking like this, like a third party would.

Ever since the artist known as "Hamasaki Ayumi" was born 10 years ago, really so many things have been experienced, alot of things have been gained, but on the other hand, many things have been lost.

Because of that sort of thing, the present me can sing certain things & wants to sing certain things... not things like difficult or complex life philosophies, but simple things really.

So I've made very pure and honest songs.

Somehow though, writing the lyrics to everyone the way I did, maybe it was kinda like writing a love letter to everyone... what a thought.

A 10-year love letter.

Anyway, I thought of that so I thought I'd come tell you.

I want everyone to listen soon!(*^_^*)

[328] COUNTDOWN LIVE

2008-11-18T18:20:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0 for text, D-Z, tethevo, chocopockymaster, and maikaru for "Days" lyrics)

As far as CDL's material, to everyone who's gotten feverish regarding all the possible meanings, I have come to talk about something completely different.

Today...

I'm going to show you part of "Days"'s lyrics!(*^_^*)

aitakute, aitakute, semete koe ga kikitakute
you mo naku, denwashitari

(I want to see you, I want to see you
Or at least hear your voice
Just talking on the phone for no reason)

kimi ga iru, sore dake de kokoro ga totemo atatakaku naru
boku no negai wa, tatta hitotsu dake
sou konna fuu ni itsumademo
kimi wo suki na mama de ite ii desu ka?

(Just because you are here, my heart becomes so warm
I only have one wish
To keep loving you forever
the way I do now, would that be okay?)

setsunakute, setsunakute, mune ga gyutto naru yoru mo
tashika ni ne, aru keredo...

(Although I certainly have nights where my chest tightens
so bittersweet, so bittersweet)

kimi wo omou, sore dake de, kokoro wa ikiru imi wo motsu kara
nanika wo matometeru wake ja nakute
sou konna fuu ni itsumademo
kimi wo suki na boku de ite ii desu ka?

(Just from thinking of you, my heart holds a meaning for living
So there's nothing that I'm lacking
For me to always be a "me" who keeps loving you
always and forever, would that be okay?)

~Days~

[327] Chonchan,

2008-11-17T22:23:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

...is still working, working, working~~~~.

Let me see... tomorrow more details about CDL will be available, Ohji told me...

After that, everyone in TA will want to be told about it, and I promised you all when I wrote before that I'd let you know~.

In the meantime, there's the title for this year's Countdown Live.

The name we have given it is....

PREMIUM COUNTDOWN LIVE!

desu.

Well, what the heck is "Premium" about it, exactly....?

Over a period of three and a half hours, 30 songs straight will be played for you nonstop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teeheehee...

Give me strength everyone, so that after rehearsals, I can face the uphill climb. (^-^)/(^-^)/(^-^)/

This whole team - the band, dancers, so many staff, and me - are facing this long road for the first time, doing this many songs for the first time. Rehearsals will be especially crazy, the days will be severe. But we will keep your smiling faces in mind and we are going to try our best.(*^_^*)

By the way, the amount of choreography that Zin will do hasn't been hampered.

The countdown's scenarios will have Zin's name all over them, lol.

Everyone, please send along your encouraging messages!

And then I'm gonna continue with lots of dancing lessons from Subassu. Look forward to it~*

After that, of course the great Peco, my dear friend Kayanocchi, prince Maro and I will do our best participating in the dancing!!!!!

The scale of this performance seems to know no limits. (*^^)

Really, it'll be a must-see!!! Right? (^_-)-*

As for me, my physical strength is sure to hold up, but my voice is rather weak, so....
I'd better really take care-------------!!

Ah, as for my trainer Sou-chan's blog, everyone who helped me with that, thank you! ∈^0^∋

I'm able to read it now~~~~~~~

Sou's blog is visible now, yay~~~~~.

[326] Aah....

2008-11-16T23:17:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

Actually, I've been working up until writing this entry. (heh. ^^;;

Meh... it's so me to say that, you know. So very me. (^_-)

After this, REALLY looking towards tomorrow this time, I'll go to sleep for a little while!!!

So, everyone, no worries~~~(^_-)-*

Anyway, if my diary is updated, everyone in TA's phones...

...do you get it on there? WIIIIIINN!!

If you get the notification e-mail, then that's good!

What do you think of it???

Everyone gets them thanks to the kindness of KAZ～∈^0^∋

At that, I have one more thing on my mind, my trainer Sou seems to have started a blog at Ameblo, but I can't view it~~~~ (T_T)

Someone, if you can see it, let me know how plz~~~~~!

[325] Unnnnnngh~~~~~ (>_<)

2008-11-16T20:53:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

That sums it up. (lol)

For the sake of keeping everything in order while simultaneously working on CDL and the new PV, I'm keeping my train of thought as short as possible, lol.

When things get like this, I dunno how I keep moving forward, day after day, watching over everything, doing things over!!!!

I'm bravely stopping here because today there are many cases like that.

I have a magazine shoot tomorrow too, so I'm gonna get in the bath soon & try to get to bed early~.

Letting my heart go to waste....

Seems to ease my serious head.

And, again, starting tomorrow, I'll have a new momentum.

By the way, in times like these it's great for me to look at photos that make me feel better...

This, of course, means photos of my little ones. (*^_^*)

All of you, too, probably get tired every day at school & work...

Shall we cure ourselves together?

I'm gonna see if I can ask KAZ to put up Today's Photo-----.

[324] "Days"'s...

2008-11-16T15:13:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

...PV is being edited.

This is dangerous!

Last night, after the Wacoal shoot (see Mama's blog), I cried sympathy tears.

Oh, poor Chonchan.

Well no, I wasn't crying cuz of me in the video, it's that there's this thing.... it was like.... well he.... umm....

Ack!!!!!!!!

Gah, I want to explain everything!!!!!!!!!!

But I won't.

For now, I'll just say... there's a plot twist.

This twist, the moment you see it, you'll be crying three times as much! You'll have to watch it a million times.

By the way, lately I'm dividing up dates, days of the week, and day & night and I don't know why.

As such, I do have intentions of updating every day, but it has been twice a day, then one day with no update, so it's kinda weird, and I may hesitate when writing (lol) perhaps, but please keep checking up on here.

Ah, the countdown.....

A few got dizzy when they saw the setlist, not just me, I expect... hahaha!

But there are precious pieces of music here.
So I want to take great care singing them.

No matter what, neverending, as though I'm never disappearing.

For all of you, I'll do my best!

[323] Whhooooooaaaaa~~~

2008-11-14T20:21:00.000+09:00

No. 323 14 November 2008 3:21 AM

Just now, I finally finished figuring out the CDL setliiiiissst~~~~.

From this point on, rehearsals should go smoothly, but there might be revisions put into the setlist.

Iyaaaa, Hamasaki Ayumi really does have a lot of songs.

Once again, I was surprised.

I went over it with everyone on the staff, and, incredibly, when it seemed like the whole set list was songs I rarely choose to play, they all quickly said "I wanna hear this~!".

After all that...

I'll have to try my best to remember the songs' lyrics. (lol)

Anyhow, I really want to see how it'll go this year!!!

I really hope with all my heart that everyone will be able to get tickets.

We~ell, starting tomorrow morning I'm doing magazine photo shoots & a CM shoot, so I'd better get to sleep soon~~~~~.

But I was able to finish the setlist, so I'm so incredibly giddy, it's like I'm too tense to go to sleep! LOL

[322] It's true!

2008-11-14T10:36:00.000+09:00

(Translation: Delirium-Zer0)

The fact is that the true identity of "Chonchan" is me.

Teeheeheeheehee....

It might take your eyes a second to see it, but really, it's me.

In case you don't understand what I'm talking about, go see the latest entry at Zin's blog.

Chonchan deshita.

[321] Sorry.

2008-11-13T14:57:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I was just so tired, I couldn't get on the computer.

Benzou desu. (Someone's name, I think. I don't get the reference. --Deli)

No but honestly, everyone's faces changed numerious times (lol), but we really did our absolute best until the very end!
That's how the PV went, and we were able to do it!!!

This is dangerous------.
Seriously dangerous------.

It's a spoiler to say, but I was crying too much (of course I mean acting in the video's story), I mean WAY too much, like my eyes turned into the number 3. 3_3 (ROFL)

No matter what take we were shooting, my eyes were all "poyoyo~n", Gori was calling me "Benzou~san". Yup, for sure. (lol)

But yeah, Ishii (the director), who made that scene, while he was looking at the view on the monitor, he kept crying sympathy tears.

No no, I'm crying because you directed me to!! LOL

So anyway, now you can look forward to 2 cool videos.

OH YEAH!!!! Subject change.

The writer of CREA's blog is NOT me.
I'm not CREA this time.

I don't have time for it ~~ o/~

Now, the melody floating in my head was that it had to be a crazy fan.

Afterwards, everyone in TA sent me messages saying that Mommy's photo appeared. ^_^;

Well that's a serious addition! So it's all okay then?

Maybe, the other day, when I wrote saying I found Crea's Blog, I think everyone just understood what it was, or you had a hunch or impression, but I didn't get it until I talked to my Mommy.

Me and her have an interesting relationship.

We only meet up occasionally, but of course we always know what's going on with one another.
Even when we meet up, and we talk about work & stuff like that, those are supposed to be private conversations.
We talk about silly things usually, unless something important has come up.

Whenever we meet up & talk, it's nothing but stuff about wanko-tachi.
Nickname for the dogs. (lol)

With that sort of feeling, it's not an intrusive relationship for us.

But this, I don't know how well it comes across, but as far as we're concerned, with usual everyday things, our relationship isn't bad and the bond isn't a shallow one.

Also, after all, she gave me that wonderful gift called life, and so to her, I give all my gratitude, and of course my respect.

Our personalities are very different even if I obviously take after her in the looks department. LOL

I'm digressing... but maybe I already said everything I wanted to say?

Hm, it seems that way.

Cute Cre-chan and Mommy-ko, everyone, from now on please warmly watch over me.

At some point my babies will stop being so mysteriously copied. (lol)

Ah! She's really in high spirits, talking really fast with reckless abandon, she's reached the edge - I hope she takes good care of herself! (XD!!)

Well then, from now on, the PV nails are off, and they've changed to magazine shoot nails~~~. o/~

[320] PV Shoot

2008-11-12T07:50:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Going to day 2!!!

But the set seems rather far away.

Well I have to perform now, so.ヾ(^_^) BYE!

[319] Phew!

2008-11-12T02:30:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I headed home immediately, making a mad dash for the number one most comforting place in the whole world that I can't possibly live without!

That's right, the bathroom.

I go into my own house's bathroom and recklessly, thoughtlessly, and uselessly release tension.

And the mood I'm in today means the master bathroom.

Eh? Is that really the time?

Is my clock broken?????

While I was distracted by the euphoric feeling I had in the bath, reality sunk in and I said, "I have to wake up really soon-----~~~!!!!"

It sure can be a dangerous thing, only getting a little bit of sleep.

By the way, the guy dancers safely finished the shoot in japan awhile ago~.

Tomorrow also (and afterwards? lol), Today's Photo will be uploaded, so look forward to it, k?

[318] Whew~

2008-11-12T00:29:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

And now, day 1 of the "Days" PV shoot has successfully finished~.

Took forever~.

Bbbbut!!!
I've been performing with all the dancers recently, but this time, it's only the female team I'm dancing with, and the shots of me & them together are already finished.

Yep.

The male team is in the middle of shooting now.

GANBAREEEE--------------(>_<)!!!

And Mother Go-Mi was safely able to finish together with members of the girl team. (^o^)/~~~

We continue tomorrow, wish us luck~~~~!

[317] Oh jeez...

2008-11-10T21:16:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Deciding on the set list has become such an obsession for me that HOURS have already passed...

And I'm gonna be on-location starting tomorrow morning... ^^;;

I don't know if I'm gonna be at my best as far as acting unless I get in bed ASAP.(`_')>

[316] From Mama,

2008-11-10T18:55:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Just now, an e-mail came, and it said "Go look, I updated my blog" so at once I went to see.

And I cried (T_T)

You're awesome, Mikajohn.

It was a WONDERFUL blog entry.

Thank you........ (T_T) (T_T) (T_T)

[315] Aaa~~~~~

2008-11-10T17:57:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Today I woke up & got going really early, so I was also able to get home quicker~.

But I can't figure out what to do. Haha

Should I just go to bed early???

Waaaaaaaaaaaah, impossible! LOL

For the time being, I'm still thinking about the CDL setlist.

It would seem, from your messages, that a really long show is totally okie-dokie with you! lol

Okay, it's the end of the 10th anniversary, so ayu-chan should really try her best to bring it to a lovely, joyous finish, right?

Like the first train, I don't really understand it (haha), but I don't go home halfway through the trip, do I~~~?

Well then, starting tomorrow I'm FINALLY starting shooting for the Days PV~~~!

During the tour, there were excuses made in connection with our image, so me & the dancers couldn't really change our hairstyles, so starting with tomorrow's shoot, we're all going to the hair salon together! \(^0^)/\(^0^)/\(^0^)/

I personally haven't gone in a loooo------ooonng time.

Tomorrow, Kaz is uploading a new "Today's Photo" (*^_^*)

Ninja.....VANISH!

[314] Mm-hmmm...

2008-11-09T23:58:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I'm gradually deciding on the CDL set list, so right now, I'm probing iTunes for people's opinions on what they listen to.

I'm taking this into account along with all the many various requests I've recieved from people.

If I listened to everything people said, I'd have to make it a 3 or 4 hour long show-----!!! (LOL)

Oh man, I don't know what to decide.

I've been working & working all the time up till now, so maybe that's why my cold hasn't completely gone away? (I don't think I'm mistaken)

Hmm, but you know, I'm just gonna keep on going~~~.

[313] A little while ago

2008-11-09T15:59:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I have confirmed that it does not appear to be anyone I know writing Crea's Blog.

Yup, I know for sure she wouldn't be able to write such calm sentences.

I would expect crazy stuff like "KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" and "GyaCHI~~~~". LOL

But who could it be, typing under Crea's name?
Me....????????? (hahahaha) (Secret....???????) (<--that's "mi" and then a small "tsu" and then the ".....???"... not sure how to translate it really. --D.Z.)

This story is just, like... whatever. lol

Oh by the way, after the Countdown Live discussion yesterday "SCAR" and "In The Corner" were requested in abundance! I was really surprised!!!!!

And to be honest, I also really love those two songs~~~ (*^_^*)

That's pretty nice~.

[312] A Message,

2008-11-09T11:08:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

At Ameblo (Ameba Blog), CREA (my baby)'s blog has been started... (@_@; )

People have written here asking "It says Crea's Blog, is it ayu's Crea?", and it surprised me, people were trying to find out if it really was me... (*_*) ~dead~

It appears before Choco and Marron and the others.

Although I have no conection to it, this Crea blog mentions candles being around.
And me, in my house, I have all these candles everywhere.

But the blog knows that their use is restricted to winter time, too. (*sweat*)

Oh jeez, it's like I'm buying it all up & then selling it all right back again, sorry about that. (lol)

But anyway, this blog really shocked me~~~~~~~.

But then wait, who's writing the blog?

Crea???

Odd conclusion to come to----------.

[311] Incidentally,

2008-11-08T20:18:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Regarding CDL...

I still can't officially announce anything to everyone, but to all of you asking "Are you not gonna do it this year(>_<)?", I say...

Of course I'm doing it~~~! (^0^)/

The question has been, since notification from TA hasn't come the way it has in past years, have you had no choice but to not do the 2 days of Countdown Live?

And if you do it, in comparison to tours, wouldn't there have to be a very restricted number of people allowed to see it?

Usually around this time of year, everyone's excited about the lucky drawing for tickets, but please be patient and all will soon be clear. I understand how tough the ticket lottery is for you guys.

So one person or alot of people might want one or alot of seats, and as such we're trying a trial-an-error thing with everyone now.

So please hold on for a little while!!!!!

So anyway... something I need to talk to you guys about.

With this year's Countdown, tentatively, I think the 10th Anniversary ceremonies are being brought to an end.

For this reason, up until now, countdowns have been different. Concerts have included songs that I've created in these 10 years, but the songs I've made that are really like my children (for example, songs that were produced for all my albums so far but weren't released as singles) haven't been covered, you know?

Isn't it more fun not knowing what's going to come?

Or, wait, do I really want to put an end to singing songs I always sing, and that you've gotten used to??

I'm a bit lost trying to decide what to do...

I'd like to hear everyone's opinion~~~.

Please everyone, hurry hurry and send in your opinions, I'd be REALLY glad to read them! (*^_^*)

Thank you~!!!

Well then, I've started working on the next new song. (Already?
Since there's not alot of time, I'm working on 2 songs at once. (sweating

Wish me luck!

[309] Starting yesterday...

2008-11-07T18:24:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

...I'm doing Days/GREEN promotion activities.

First off is rushing around doing magazine shoots!!!

Yesterday, after a CM shoot, I had 2 magazine photo shoots & interviews, wrestling with the PV, there were all kinds of schedule changes made (Ohji is fighting very hard because if there hadn't been schedule changes, it would have been very hard for everything to mesh and nothing good would have come of it, lol)

Two more magazine photo shoots & interviews will be done tomorrow. After that I'm going to the mix studio, and after that.... u~~~~~~n.... fantastic.

But, there's still a heck of alot more to do, so magazine photographing continues, weaving through the intervals between my various tasks~~.

The photos I've taken so far have all given me a very good feeling, so I want eveyrone to hurry and see them! (*^_^*)

But after having that cold in Shanghai, I've lost a considerable amount of weight...

My clothes are too big ------ oh no!!

Okei-chan* has been put on the spot ------ oh no!!

He's been kind enough to keep on resewing alot of the clothes!!!

As for me, I've been going to the gym to try and regain the strength in my skinny self. (sleepy!)

'Cause by the end of the year, I wanna get this body back in peak condition!

Otherwise everyone can't welcome in the new year with their awesome smiles! (^-^)NE!

But wait, there's even the rush of radio & tv's surging waves o/~ please anticipate that as well.

And ya know.... seriously.... Days is a beyond-excellent song.

Not at all bad.

And, pretty soon, I'll get Subaru to sing. (haha)

(I can't understand these next two parts, maybe someone who knows japanese better than me can look at it)

I've recieved a while lot of your thoughts, everyone!
I read absolutely all of them, of course.

And, there's more to come so look forward to it!

~ninja vanish!~**

*Kei Ito, her stylist.
**She says "doron" here, which basically means "slipping out unnoticed", but I went with "ninja vanish" cuz she types all cute and that's a cute way to say it. In english I bet you anything she'd say "ninja vanish" if she blogged in english. But just in case you disagree, I put this footnote here so you know exactly what she said.

[307] Safely...

2008-11-06T20:34:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

CM shooting has finished, and I've come home~.

It's not panasonic, it's not Wieder, it's a new CM, so please look forward to it~. Teeheeheehee.

So yesterday there were all these suspicions flying around (ha ha ha) regarding my current status based on yesterday's sixth writing.

For the time being, because I used a specific person's name in the post, and besides it had a DVD spoiler in it, haha... the post that I wrote yesterday isn't there anymore, it's been removed.

This is sorta Mission Impossible, isn't it. (Haha)

But really, as was written yesterday....

I'm not doing anything behind your backs, everyone.

If there ever is anything, you'll definitely hear it right here, in my own words.

Remember that.

You know me, I'm always a girl who keeps her promises (^_-)v

Because you guys are, as far as I'm concerned, the absolute most important thing, and that will never ever change.

I wanna hear everyone's impression of Taiwan (well, your impressions of the whole tour)~ o/~

I'll be waiting! (^_-)-*

[306] (title unknown)

2008-11-05T18:00:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Wow, sorry for posting so much today. This is the 6th message!

Anyway, let's get down to business....

Shu-chan and I are NOT Dating!!!!!!!

(I was unable to finish translating this message & getting all its details like time & title before Ayu deleted it. --D.Z.)

[273] I'm going now!

2008-10-14T00:28:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I'm headed to the airport after this.

As soon as I get off the plane, I have a press conference,
and after that, a lovely PV shoot schedule.

Wish me luck~!

[255] A COMPLETE

2008-09-10T18:40:00.000+09:00

Translation: maikaru, minor edits by Delirium-Zer0

I think everyone knows,
But on A Comp~, I put a new recording of Who, right?~

So, cause its a song where I could feel your presence,
The impression of my own voice at that time is so strong.
If we're talking about my own healing of my voice, then slowly,
It's still hard...

It was so much trouble~ ＼(__ )。

But, what was more difficult than that was...

A Chinese version of Who...!!! (O_O) !!!
Oh my God \(@o@)/!!!!!

It's that, Comp-chan, will have both japanese domestic and chinese foreign versions~~~~~~!!!!!

In any kind of manner, I gripped my pencil and eraser,
Regardless of night or day, and everywhere,
And I fought with the Chinese lyrics.

Anywhere I went, I had my pencil, eraser, and paper,
Muttering, Muttering, I continued to mutter, while everyone putting on the front that nothing was up, nothing was going on,
But, it isn't a mistake that people had their suspicions~

Everyone, thanks for doing that quietly. (haha)

And, in peace, when I returned from China,
Taking in the advice of my producer, I finished my recording~

I surprised everyone with how awesome my pronounciation was.
In that way, I had no hestiance, as I sang the words I didn't know entirely,
They said that the way I sang those words was also surprising.

That is something to laugh at. (laughs)

That kind of feeling, and when you have the chance, everyone,
I want everyone to take a try and listen.
I smiled with truly my own satisfaction, when the thing was finished,
And I was listening to it. ∈^0^∋∈^0^∋∈^0^∋

Yeah but, it was reaaaaaaaalllyyyyy hard!!!

And, the story changes. I didn't know in my life,
But, with the "changing image of the cell phone tool (I dont know how to explain.. LOL)"
Whatever you call it,
Like there was a version on mu-mo made for me, I immediately tried to download it.

Soooo cute~~~~~ ∈^0^∋♪

It was "Age."

"Age Age Every Knight."

Of course, it's Ozma.
Of course, he's my future lover.

Ah~ I have to to work now.

Im taking off~

Really, it felt like I was taking the test.
So, I feel somehow I felt like I wanted to pass~

[249] GREEN

2008-08-23T18:12:00.000+09:00

Translation: evolusean

"I've been aware of this love
From the moment my feelings
Seemed to spill from the tips of my fingers
As I touched you.

"My gaze falls upon
The figure of the one I love.
Maybe I'll tell [him] how I feel
When the wind changes..."

I pretty much love~ this new song (*^_^*)
It really hits you so much more when you listen to it in full. (/_

It's my first tasuku arrangement in a while.
If you've gotta do melancholic rock, there's no one better!
So this time he really did it up right! ♪

I really~ want you guys to hear the full thing soon! (*^^)

[247] MIRACLLLLEE!!!

2008-08-18T17:34:00.001+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

It's a miracle!!!!!!!

Recording turned out extremely good (*^_^*)

No way,

Sooooo much fuuuuuuuuuuunnn~~~~~ ＼(^O^)／♪

Today when I went in for recording I was in very high spirits, so in the vocal booth I was standing there alone & sweating like a pig, and after that during band rehearsal I sang really energetically and got really into it so then my voice got all squeaky, and after that during dance rehearsal Zin was rolling on the floor laughing at me, but before I knew it my squeaky voice had fixed itself, so I went back to finish recording at the studio....

So all in all, it was a miraculous day.

I'm so tiiiired.

I'm sleepy, but the second season of HEROES (that overseas drama) is on the brain...

Hmm.

I'm gonna go watch it! (*^_^*)v

[242] TadaiMAMBO \(^O^)/ o/~

2008-07-27T20:37:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I've come back hoooommme~~~~~~~.

After having worked full time in Hong Kong, I'm as tired as you'd expect (^^\`)

And, with this miraculous work done, every day is sunny!!!!!!!
My magic powers of bringing rain wherever I go seem to have passed, men & women who bring sunshine were always around (^_^)b

Buuut, since it was such a long time, I'm sunburned~~~.
If I leave my skin alone, it's impossible for it to be pure white again, so it'll be a nice brown tan for awhile~~~~~∈^0^∋∈^0^∋∈^0^∋ o/~

Ultra-bubbly. (*^_^*)(*^_^*)(*^_^*)

Anyway, this year's (or next year's?) calendar is REALLY nice!~* Look forward to it~ (^.^)smooch!

And I have no vacation time. Up next is the recording of the new song I've written! o/~ o/~ o/~
It's a REALLY great song, so I'm going to do my best on it! (｀_´)v

[237] I forgot to say!!!

2008-07-03T21:32:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

My video letter, shown at Peco's live show, was shot during the break between shots on the day of my CM shoot!!!

Really, it was just barely squeezed in. (lol)

No, but it served its purpose, i think it was really quite nice.

People were commenting, saying "ayu seems differennnnt!" and that was true!!!!
I was forgetting to say that!!!!!

Oh yeah, after Yoyogi ended, I removed the extensions.
So I once again have short hair.
While doing that, my nails came off too, so now I have my natural short fingernails too~.

I'll upload a photo of this happy accident. o/~

[236] It's really late, but...

2008-07-03T20:59:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Everyone I met nationwide, really & truly, thank you!!!!!!!!

Really, I can only sum it up with that one word, "thank you".

On the last day, everyone who cooperated with Zin's Surprise plan, really thank you!!!!!!!
Before the performance, in the rain, everyone was keeping on their feet. So when I heard it, the moment everyone's voices became one, I REALLY got goosebumps, and even the instigator of all this was crying sympathy tears.

I didn't hear about it until we left, but I did hear that even Kayanocchi was crying sympathy tears over on the back stage.

Oh that face. (lol)

I wonder if I should have said that. That's me digging into Kayanocchi.

Incidentally, Zin cried when we left, remembering it.

So, next up is to make really nice summer memories together-----! o/~

This is TA.
TA is "TeamAyu", a significant thing.
Therefore, I think I have a right to request that people stop freely publishing the thoughts I convey here.

[235] Whether laughing or crying.

2008-06-29T17:10:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Tomorrow, the curtain will be closed on the Japan leg of the tour.

I have recieved thoughts from everyone I've met all over the
country, those who can't come to the show tomorrow, everyone
who answered me with all their strength, and even
everyone who's going to the show tomorrow, and thanks
to these precious, precious feelings all over my
whole body, I feel I am able to sing.

Because absolutely we're having a wonderful time.

No matter what's happening in a given moment, the thought of it burns into our hearts.

Today, everyone's love was flooding the venue,
and I felt like I could cry from the very first song.

All throughout Japan, you all, who love me so much,
were gathering together.
I truly, truly thank you.

Tomorrow, with all our hearts, let's decorate the last show with so many different smiles & tears all together, and make the show the best.

I'm doing this show with all my might!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[234] I am...

2008-06-28T18:20:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

...a girl who keeps her promises! (`_')vBEEP!

Yep, I make such judgment because I have come to talk about Countdown Live, following through with the declaration in my last entry.

But that said, considering what I'm going to write, I'm not sure how or to what extent I should convey my thoughts. I'm having trouble with that.

So because I'm having issues there, I'm just gonna convey this to all you who I wish to see in Yoyogi, with the plain & clear feelings that I have, sticking to the honest feelings I have in my own heart.

Alright.
I hesitated on this. And even now I'm hesitating.
However, I'm going to say what I feel.

After my birthday, in the fall of last year, I was busy working on the album.
During that time, I stayed in LA for quite awhile, so I could do my photoshoots & recording sessions.
News of Aneki's* death had come from my mother, only immediately reaching Bancho**, Ohji***, and my closest staff members, it seemed.
But everyone had discussed it, and they decided that telling me this would make it too hard for me to work, and they said I shouldn't know until I returned to Japan.

I didn't know what was going on, so in a very happy-go-lucky & easygoing way, I said, "Hmm, how come I'm not getting any e-mails?"

They revealed the truth, and I found it to be extremely bitter.

So I finished all my work and came back home that very day. When I got to my house, Mommy was there.
Since we're not living together (in case you were wondering), she didn't say "okaeri", but her eyes were filled to the brim with tears as she started to say, "Ayu, Aneki has gone to Heaven."

I rushed out of the house, on my own. I got into a taxi, and very purposefully I went to Aneki's house.
I hadn't been able to comprehend everything until I saw that the power was off.

Then, I saw Aneki's ashes.
I don't know how long, but I was silent, remaining crouched down.
It really took a considerable amount of time before I was able to cope with the reality of all of it.

Having these kinds of feelings, the end of the year was a blur for me.

With a feeling of nothingness, I went through a number of events, and I ended up building a bigger & bigger wall around me.

That was how Countdown Live was.
The show Aneki was looking forward to.

After the show on the 31st finished, my heart was ruled by huge anxiety, something I haven't felt since then until now.

That's... wow, how to explain it...
I can't aptly explain it with words, but...

Even when I thought to myself, "I have to be able to make it somehow!!!", I, who should have been determined to keep running, was extremely depressed anyway.

Naturally, with everyone who came to the venue and even with everyone who just watched on TV, I had the best & most amazing time on the 30th and 31st, and, this is an absolute fact, I was really happy.

However, I gave myself away, so I think many of you were probably able to understand.

No, absolutely, I think you all understood.

So during those two days, there was the issue with my left ear not working, and it scared me. At the same time, I thought to myself, I am a vocalist, but again, I'm also a human being, and I need to be able to lead this team. I thought I couldn't play both roles.

In a performance, singing the songs is the most important thing. As such, the most basic and most fundamental #1 thing wasn't really there.
If I said anything as I was right then, I had no persuasive power. Moreover, this thing with Aneki influenced me to the point where even my judgement had been considerably shaky.

One song, and then another... whenever I go to sing, my hearing condition continues to get worse, and my mood is nothing but impatient.

When I think like that, I can't sing. I can't be heard...

Without hitting on the problem, I was always getting angry and getting sad, feeling chagrin, but even in my head it was a jumble.

Anyway... even if you just watch the DVD, since there was alot of crying during the show, so you can probably understand.

One way or another New Year's Day arrived, thanks to the love of all the guests there, and the many wonderful staff & band members and dancers, but I was still always thinking.

Can I never sing again like I used to?
Would that concert become my last?

For a very very long time, I was thinking so many, SOOO MANY different things like this.

Thinking about it & thinking about it & thinking about it some more, I struggled to arrive at one solution.
And then, the answer came

Keep on singing.

Just that.
From the day I decided that, I made a vow never again to complain or make any excuses.

And, as one of my ambitions for this year, I have been coming here to write, telling everyone my feelings.

Do you remember when that was said?

So during this year's long tour, I've been able to do absolutely everything.
Every day, every single day was filled up, and I was busy both mentally and physically.
But absolutely, I wasn't defeated. I couldn't be defeated.
Because I made a promise to everyone.

Once again, like I have in the past -- no, like I will from now on -- I've become strong enough to really stand on that grand stage. I've been thinking that during rehearsals for many months now.

Since then I've realized how quickly time is passing. It's surprising to think that tomorrow is already Yoyogi.

Lots of things happened during the tour....
I didn't think of these circumstances as challenging, though.
Because, even with all that stuff happening,
I know that you all understand, everyone.

It might be reckless to say, but even when feeling desperate inside, the time spent with everyone during this tour was truly the best time. My memories of those days shine more & more, quickly & strongly, and I become a better person for it.

I feel the importance of my 10th anniversary acutely throughout my whole self.

I began the tour at Yoyogi.
I clearly remember every exchange between my heart & everyone else's since that day.
Everyone's smiling faces, tear-stained faces, perplexed faces, I love aaaallll of them.

Everyone's feelings are always transmitted to me.

I am very fortunate.

I thought, if I had to lose my left ear, it's alright that I'll keep trying with only my right ear.
But that's not quite right.

I haven't lost anything.

Because everyone has offered to become my left ear.

So my ears are stronger now.

That having been said, although I was smiling about this, and those were beautiful thoughts, this writer has become useless.
The screen is getting blurry, so that's no good.

But I'll hold these tears back until the last day.

The tour continues into the Fall, but for right now, the domestic part of the tour ends with the 2 days in Yoyogi........

I look forward to some serious fighting spirit!!!!!
Let's make it the best two days ever,
Yoyogi-----------------!!!!!

While saying that, I was secretly feeling very anxious.

Thank you for reading this until the very end.

Aneki, please always watch over me!!!!!

*Aneki literally means big sister, but often best (female) friends or respected friends are called this as a term of endearment. I left it alone as "Aneki" throughout the message.

**Bancho refers to Kanako Miura, ayu's nail artist

***Ohji refers to ayu's chief manager.

[233] Let's cry together.

2008-06-23T19:50:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

So ends my two days in Osaka.

I was thinking and feeling sooooooo many things, and was so overcome that I couldn't help but cry at the very end of it.

Today's concert attendees were absolutely the best!!!!!!!

The memories I have of so many different people are just overflowing; everyone who worked so hard to get tickets and were kind enough to go to each venue; everyone all throughout the country who would continue to wait God knows how many hours to see me off & greet me; people at Kansai airport, people in Haneda... Honestly, I'm crying quite a bit thinking of it all and it's quite obvious.
So today I haven't taken off my sunglasses.

Really, this tour was unfortunately full of so many things that couldn't be helped.

And with these next 2 days in Yoyogi, I'm leaving the domestic part of the tour.

Surely, everywhere all over Japan, the strongest members were seemingly-desperately grasping their tickets, and now we can gather in Yoyogi as though it were a sacred place for us.

The band, dancers & so many of the staff all delivered a super-awesome time & a neverending, never-fading dream, adding more & more fighting spirit to it with their anticipation!!!

Up until the end, all we want is to have as much fun as possible!!!!!

Of course, for these last two days, I'm even going to be reacting to the thoughts of everyone who cannot come to Yoyogi!!!!!!!!!

Sometime before the shows in Yoyogi I'll be writing about the Countdown so wait for that.

I love you so much, everyone-------- (^.^)smooch*

[232] No no no...

2008-06-21T18:50:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

It's not possible to grade the spark seen during the two days in Nagoya.
As expected, Nagoya's power exploded even more! o/~

Anyway, it was awesome!!!!!!

Naturally, when the Ayu calls started, the Yo-chan calls
started...

It seemed like a party, lol.
If there had been booze, I'd have been completely drunk! ROFL!

Honestly, I felt so much power from everyone!
Thank you (.)Moved-

And finally, the stop tomorrow & the day after will be my last 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's make them an amaaaaazing--------2 days \(^O^)/
Hm?

Let's go, Osaka!!!
Let's get excited, Osaka!!!!!!!!

With plenty of fighting spirit, tomorrow, I'm going to Osaka. (^_^)v

Aah, I'm so looking forward to it!~~~~~ (*^_^*)(*^_^*)(*^_^*)

[231] As expected!!!!!

2008-06-18T20:10:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Everyone in Nagoya was just how I thought they'd be d(^-^)NE!

From the opening, I was greeted & received with totally
high spirits. ~(^_^)v(^_^)v(^_^)v

Tomorrow, more more, let's heat up the hot show!!!!!

Then, for the 2 days in Osaka (last stop!) let's do more more more!!!
Heat it up heat it up!!!!!!!!!

Hmm well, in Yoyogi the perfect execution of the show led to burnout, I think
o/~

Everyone's sights are turned towards the last show in Japan, and everyone's fighting spirit, their spark, (even mine) is indomitable~! ∈^0^∋

Tomorrow will be awesome too~~~~~(*^_^*)

Ah, as for talking about the Countdown DVD, once I get back to Tokyo I'll slowly but surely be writing back to you on it.
So look forward to that \(^O^)/ o/~

Yup, tomorrow's gonna be a grand slam----- (`_')vvv

[230] P.S.!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-17T19:05:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

By the way, today, at a certain place, certain photographing was done.....

It was something I was unfamiliar with, so somehow for the last few days I've been unusually nervous & couldn't sleep....

But it was properly finished without any issues o/~

That being the case, my strained feelings loosened up,
and for the sake of the people in Nagoya
I am heading there in the car~~~, so worn out...

The staff is all working on the baggage situation, so for the moment we're back at home, so it seems we're heading to Nagoya tomorrow.

It's so difficult~.... Do your best, guys!!!!!!!!

I'm saying that just in case~.

If the right opportunity comes up, I'll explain more properly,
so be ready for that~ o/~

[229] Nagoya da gya~.

2008-06-17T18:46:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

If I said that to all my Nagoyan friends, they'd put on a serious face and say "Is that Hakata-ben?" in reply, I bet.

Huh? (lol)

But I'm gonna insist on using it anyway.

Starting tomorrow, Nagoya da gya~~~ o/~
I always feel so energized there, everyone in Nagoya
is so powerful o/~

Tomorrow & the day after, be more energetic than last time
(though even last time the high spirits were surprising, haha)!!
Hot! Hotter!! Everyone at the live, heat it up!!!

'Preciate it~~~~~~~~~ \(^O^)/\(^O^)/\(^O^)/

As far as the Countdown DVD goes, it's a
self-centered sort of thing to ask, but... please let me know...
tell me how you feel about it, write me about it
tomorrow when you've gotten it~ (*^_^*)

But-but, when the Countdown happens, it's enveloped in
this veeerrry warm love from all of Yoyogi, I feel.
It's tremendous.
In the Making, soooo many of all the fans are shown,
and that also is tremendous.

And that's an easy thing to write, too (lol)
There are a few things I still want to write & tell you,
so wait for iiit~~~~~~ Kiss (^_-)-*

[228] Really,

2008-06-08T17:37:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I'm sooooo sorryyyy (x_x)

Today, for the first time during this tour, I completely forgot the lyrics to a certain song... (T_T)(T_T)(T_T)

I'm already beating myself up about it.
What the heck.

(-_-).

I must keep in mind concerts are like living things!~~~ o/~ La la la~~~ o/~
(Trying to force a 180 in my attitude, haha)

Well then!! Tomorrow and for a long time after, if there aren't local groups anymore & instead just one group for all of Kanto, I'm still gonna do my best to get better so everyone look forward to iiiiit! (^_-)-*

But I...

Think we should scream out in our anticipation \(^O^)/!!!!!
We'll have the best time ever.....right?!!!!!

[227] I forgot to say!!!

2008-06-05T19:46:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

The tour isn't even over yet, but I was just a bit too hasty with my talking to be understood.

On July 1st, the band's chief backup singer, Peco, is having a solo live.

On keyboard will probably be the boss of the band, Shingo.

Kyaaaaaaaaaaa so wonderful!∈^0^∋

The stylist in charge of Torio Band might be participating too, I think...

Maybe for this live, Peco will allow me to help a tiny bit too.... (*^_^*).

What am I thinking about, everyone! I should focus on her!!!!! I won't be jealous!~~~~~(*^^)v o/~

Teeheeheeheeheeheehee.......

Everyone, get together for her show~~~~~~~~~~~ o/~

Details are at Peco's home page (^_-)-*

[226] Just a trivial thing...

2008-06-05T18:41:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

...but nowadays, my big thing has been keeping my bangs as this one solid mass from one side of my face to the other.

But who gives a crap about that, really? (laugh)

Kaz will be uploading today's photo soon~ o/~

Oh yeah, almost forgot to mention my 2 days in Fukuoka.

IT WAS SUCH AWESOMENESS~~~~~~~~~~∈^0^∋!!
If my memory is accurate, then of all my Fukuoka performances until now, this year's Marinmesse was absolutely the greatest!!!!!

Nothing could hamper everyone's spirit \(^O^)/

Nothing could hamper my put-on accent, either (laugh)

But you know, it was surprisingly well-received, my Hakata-ben.
For some reason, my Hakata-ben (not something people hear from me very often) came out fine, according to people who hadn't heard it before, even when they were being blunt.

But be careful with the compliments, or I won't wanna let up....

Do I try speaking my local dialect in Yokohama arena!(^^)!????????

What the heck~~~~~~~.

Yeah, I got caught up in the moment just then.

But not speaking standard Japanese just happens so naturally for me~.

If you're curious about "hearing something that seems raw" from me, please, during the Yokohama Arena MC, yell out your request (laugh)

So this week is a long time in Kantou!!!
It's gonna be crazy crazy amounts of fun~~~~~~~(*^_^*)

Doing Yokohama Arena in the tropical forests, this time.

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh I really wanna hurry & meet everyone d(^-^)NE!

There's only a little bit of the Japan tour to go after I leave here.
There are sooooooooo many things I want to tell...... but before long, I'll be able to fill you in on all of it.

Wait for it(^_-)-*

[225] Coming home o/~

2008-05-31T17:56:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I've returned~ \(^O^)/

Yeah, so now I can officially say that I've spent at least half my life in Tokyo, sure....

But in spite of that, my hometown really is my hometown!!!

What the hey, I'm giving it ∈^0^∋∈^0^∋∈^0^∋ (hugs hugs hugs)

Tomorrow, for the MC, I'm talking in nothing but Hakata-ben (*^^)v

I've always talked in Hakata-ben except when working, you know~
But I think everyone already knew that (*^_^*)

I think I have some kind of off-switch, that makes it so I don't even know standard Japanese anymore~~~~~~. Why????? (she says "Why" in english. --Deli)

Well then, tomorrow & the day after, let's go do our aaaabsoluuute best! (^_-)-*.

Everyone, look forward to it o/~

Ah, Hakata ramen.

Or not (lol)!!!

Can't wait for Marinmesse~~~~~~ (^O^)/

Although I'll be utilizing my Kyushu girl power~~~!!!

Well, as I was arriving in Fukuoka, it had started getting so rainy, I was laughing really hard at Armageddon (*_*) Later!

[224] Arrival o/~

2008-05-24T16:44:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I've arrived to the piece & quiet of my hotel in Osaka~ (^_^)b
So, I'm gonna eat well and get plenty of sleep, and then tomorrow & the day after, I'm gonna put on the best shows ever!
I'll only be drinking alcohol in moderation, yeees...... haha.

Everyone I met at Haneda and Kansai airports gave me sooooooooo many smiling faces, thank you all! (*^_^*)
Aawwwwwww, everyone, I love you! (*^_^*)(*^_^*)(*^_^*)

After this, I think I'll be looking at all the letters & presents you've been so kind as to send o/~
And then I'll check out the writings from everyone in TA o/~

kimi ga mou kore ijou,
nidoto kowai mono wo minakute sumu no nara...

boku wa nan ni datte narou.

(If it means that you never again
have to look at anything that scares you...

I'll become anything you need.)

[223] Reborn!!!!!!!

2008-05-23T20:44:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I have done it o/~

Goodness gracious, for the 2 days in Kobe, everyone was really so concerned~ (v_v)...

I want to show everyone an everlasting and neverending dream (*^_^*)
But yeah, I kept thinking, "when I do this stuff I think I make everyone uneasy!!!!" and I started hating myself... >_<....

But I'm okay now!------ \(^O^)/\(^O^)/ o/~
Mr. Cold Virus, seems to have made his journey away from my body, and I'm jumping for joy!

Since my time in Kobe finished, I've finished filming 2 new CMs that I feel pretty good about, and tomorrow I'll be making my happy-happy way to Osakaaa~~~~~~~~~~ ∈^0^∋

Let's go, ooooosakaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~ (^O^)/

It'll be two straight days of perfection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bwahahaha.

Mama (Mikajohn) is yelling at me so I hafta go sleep noooow~ \(^_^)BYE*

Sou boku wa yuku. (Yes, I'm going)
furikaerazu ni, nigetasazu ni, kao wo agete, aruite ikunda. (I won't look back, I'm not running away, I raise my head & walk forward.)
boku wa mou mo boku de aritsuzukeru shikanai koto wo. (I, on my own, keep going on, it's something I have no choice about)
kimi wa itsuka wakatte kureru darou (I would like you to someday understand.)

[222] Alrighty!!!

2008-05-16T15:36:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Today, to prepare for the 2 days in Kobe starting tomorrow, I'm fighting this cold virus with all my might thanks to an IV drip & some shots~ (`_')v

I'll meet you all tomorrow with my usual smiling face (*^_^*)!!!!!

I'm working my way up to being in the peak of health! o/~

With the team meeting me & the team seeing me off, and of course everyone kind enough to come to the venue, I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone, and also today is ahead of time

While I'm very much looking forward to meeting up with the group who greets me, the group who sees me off, and of course everyone who's so kind as to come see the show, I'm gonna get to bed early today and just zonk right out as soon as my head hits the pillow. (Do people still say "zonk right out"?*)
So I'm gonna go do that now.

muzukashii hanashi wa iranai. (I don't need difficult words.)
kimi ga waratte kurerebaii. (You should please smile.)

*for "zonk right out as soon as my head hits the pillow", ayu used the word "batankyuu", which is what she wonders about in parentheses right there. --Deli

[221] That's right.

2008-05-15T15:17:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

...what's right?

Well um, during the Hiroshima performances, I came down with a cold. *facepalm*
Because of that, I couldn't go to Okonomimura (aka Okonomiyaki Village, this place in Hiroshima with tons of restaurants. --Deli), which I always look forward to.
(Maybe things will still turn out okay somehow.)

I'm soooo sorryyyyy (>_<)

Everyone in the send-off team, the meeting-up team, and everyone in the venue seemed to me thinking "ayu doesn't look too great....", but it was the number of posts here saying "AYU ARE YOU OKAY~(>_<)???" that made me finally give myself up.

Now now, that's no good.
I am no good!!! I need to be more stable!!!!!

Since perfectly ending the run in Fukui, the cold virus was hidden in my body, and I guess I wasn't thorough enough when I told it to go away!!!!!!!!
Ugh, enough is enough already~.

As I write this entry, I'm in my home with a muffler wrapped around my neck. I looked all mysterious.

Will you be uploading Today's Photo soon, KAZ?

[220] Hoooootttt~~~~~~!!!

2008-05-05T18:57:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Nagoya, hot!!!

Nagoya, really really hot!!!!!!!

The temperature may be hot, but I've decided I am still going to be meeting up with everybody. (haha)

For a minute I thought I landed it Taiwan by mistake. < What the...?! (ROFL)
As for the site, it seems tomorrow KAZ is kindly uploading a new "Today's Photo".(^_^)v

Well well, looks like that'll a nice diversion for two days starting from tomorrow. o/~
Also my voice has considerably improved, I'm feeling better~ (^_^)b
Yup!!!

Incidentally, today it looked like I was gonna miss my bullet train, so I and the whole group seeing me off ended up making a mad dash up the loooooo~~~nng stairs at Tokyo Station.
So that was a little bit amusing. (lol)

Luckily, I made it on time (*^^)v

Because~ o/~
I was neveeeerrr o/~ ever alooooone o/~

("itsudemo~
hi~tori ja~ nakatta karaa~")

Goodnight! (^_-) -*smooch

[219] Whew.

2008-05-04T16:43:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Everyone in Fukui's power was just full of unwavering enthusiasm! \(^O^)/

Things went great for two days, but upon returning to Tokyo I came down with a nasty cold, so for the time being i'm taking some down time YO.(=_=)

Because of that, I still have a weak voice but for a different reason YO. (-_-)

But until the shows restart in Nagoya, again & again & more & more It's a reeeeeeaaaaaaaallllly hot couple of days YO. ∈^0^∋ o/~

So on the MY STORY Tour, during the MC in Nagoya (it's on the DVD, right?), I was aaalways yelling, really so full of energy, so somehow I know it'll be amazing this time too~~~~~~~ NE (*^_^*)

Look forward to it, Nagoya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Muwahahaha...

[218] Fukui...

2008-04-27T17:29:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Happy-happy Fukui!!!

Everyone's enthusiasm, and power, and encouragement & applause, everything, impacted my heart so greatly that I felt from the first song that I could cry...

Honestly, today, everyone's feelings were overflowing, and for the whole time we were in the venue, right until the end it was amazing!
At any rate, today was amazing!!!!

Tour staff & ayu's staff & the band & the dancers, just everyone who was here today was amazing~∈^0^∋∈^0^∋ o/~
After the end of the show, they had risen to their peak(.)Impressed-

(T.T)(T.T)(T.T)

Ah, I'm too happy, I'm not using very good words right now.
But I wanted to communicate this joy, so that's what came out.

Let's make the show absolutely the best tomorrow too!!!!!!!
Well, we can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, it'll succeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With that, squeaky-voice me is quietly going to get in the bath & get ready to sleep...

I think I'll have nice dreams (*^_^*)

Nighty-night~ (^.^) *smooch*

[217] Shop-Promoter Girl

2008-04-26T17:34:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Although I know there are people who already know about it & who've already seen it, I ask that you allow me to mention the beauty parlor "ZACC", where I've been going for the past 9 years~ (*^_^*)

ZACC's Owner, Takahashi, has been doing not only my hair cutting & coloring, but most recently has worked on my magazine shoots, TV appearances, CMs & PVs, all that kind of stuff~.

Despite that, I'm acting as shop-promoter girl for the first time, asking that you visit the Aoyama or Daikanyama locataion of ZACC beauty parlor~.
Going there is quite a nice experience, so if you have the chance everyone, go check it out.

Incidentally, as a follow-up, they seem to be having a campaign where you can get a good deal if you order a haircut to look like me. (I'm going overboard talking about this, haha)
The ZACC website has more details, so by all means go check it out.

Alright alright, I'm done talking about that now.

I've been pretty depressed since this morning.
My voice is still not at all healed, so I'm really anxious about the live shows tomorrow & the day after, and I'm getting nervous...

But even today while I was leaving Haneda Airport and arriving at Komatsu Airport I got to see everyone's smiling faces.
Because of that, somehow my mind was put quite at ease.

When I arrived at the hotel & checked TA, everyone had written so many warm messages, with worries of my voice on their mind.
Because of that, somehow my heart was strengthened.

Sometimes the morals that are part of my personality are strengths, and sometimes they're weaknesses, I've realized.

Yeah.
No matter how much I think about all of this, it can't be helped.
I've already done all I can.

After this..... everyone in Fukui, from your heart I think it would be good for you to be able to enjoy the show.
In this limited amount of time we have, moment to moment, with all your might, always live with care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One day, I was able to teach that to everyone.

Today also, for the love that you give freely, I thank you.

[216] COME ON, DAMMIT!!!!

2008-04-24T23:19:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Three days have passed since the second Shizuoka show, when my voice died...

I still have a squeaky voice though, what the hell...

As for that, it seems my vocal chords are damaged----...

Of course I have to ignore the phone.
Every day, really by only writing things down & e-mailing can I complete my work & private-life stuff....

Why isn't my voice better~~~!!!?!?

I have two more days until I need it to come back.

It absolutely, absolutely must heal.

The band & dancers, not to mention all the many staff members, are kind enough to make such a wonderful show, but if my singing, which is vital, can't be relied upon, then there's no point to their hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure a miracle will surely happen...

Come on!!!!!

[215] Aaaahhh...

2008-04-21T20:13:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

At the end of the Encore part of today's show, my voice stopped workiiing...>_<...

Around the time I said "Omae dare da?" (lol), I opened my mouth and out came this squeaky girly voice to sing the last song... (-_-)
During dancer introductions, it was this weak granny's voice (LOL)
It's very very well-known among us that the dancer Chisa-chan has the squeakiest voice, but tonight I have surpassed her in that department.(lol)

Since then I've heard that Armageddon (that's Saitou from security) had an even higher voice than Chisa-chan!!!!!! (*_*) I GIVE UP~(ROFL)

But you know, everyone's power in Shizuoka was really so great. So when everyone's feelings called out to me, I wanted to respond to them, and I truly wanted to convey my feeling of thanks by just yelling it out really excitedly.

But regretfully, I couldn't! >^_^< o/~
Because concerts are like living things.
And because we are all humans.
The same moment on the same stage will never exist again.
Each time, the audience can change, the me, the band, the dancers, and even the staff that rise up to the task of putting on the show, each version of us only gets to play the game one time really.
So the concert we put on today was this one, I guess.
It's behind us, it's away from us... d(^-^) Right?

Of course, looking forward to the next show, we'll definitely be restoring it to perfect condition, so we're working on it! As a singer, from now on I'll be devoting myself to perfection & problem solving with professional gusto. ('_')v Yup!

So there's that, but now for a subject change...
This year's tour, with all the news of my 10th Anniversary and my ear, wherever I go the audience's cheers & applause are amazing. Really amazing!!! (.)So Moving-...

I mean it's always been amazing, but somehow this year's tour feels more complete, no matter what the venue, the feeling of love is overflowing.

Everyone, let's give all our cheers, clap our hands, and make the every performance's atmosphere REALLY amazing... (T_T) *teary-eyed*

Aah, I'm likely to really cry, writing like this (lol)
Because everyone's thoughts regarding me have gotten to me (>_<)!!!

And, this tour, everyone I meet & say goodbye to is breaking into cheers!
During all the various events, it seems I can meet so many dazzling faces.
Really, you're all so kind... m(__)m

It's selfish, but the time I talk to everyone, before & after the shows, warms my heart.
Please be more greedy about talking to me!
I'm not very good at talking to shy peoppllle.....(lol)

So yeah. I'm a flesh & blood person too, so I'm not high strung all the time.
But you know, as worn out as I can get, I do wonder what kinds of questions people have, anyway,,,,,,,

All your smiling faces are, as far as I'm concerned, the best energy source after all (*^_^*)

I've only been living squeezing things in at the last minute, so this is a very awkward & clumsy me who cannot yet really become an adult.

Thank you always & forever.... for the many smiling faces & tears that you've given until now, and will give from now on.

I still have a ways to go this 10th Anniversary year, with everyone's help I can continue rise up to my peak~~~~!!
Let's make tooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnns of good memories!!!!!!!

Alrighty.
Next, look forward to Fukui~~~~~~ (^.^) *smooch*

And again, I promise to make it the best two days ever (^_-)v
Yeah, let's do this!!!!!!!!!! \(^O^)/ o/~

you guys are MY ALL....... `\^_^

[214] Weider!!!

2008-04-18T20:00:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Have you had the chance to see the new CM?
I'm in a taxi with Mr. Hamada. (^_^)b o/~
It was filmed in Shinjukuuu~.

And, for once, I play the role of an office lady,

But, shooting that day, everyone in ayu's staff,

said ayu was NOOOOOTTT an attractive office lady!!!!!
Sheesh an all-out attack would have been better. -_-;;

Is that bad?
Is the black hair & suit look bad?
The hair & make-up only took 30 minutes, so is it bad because it's too natural looking?

I guess that's how they saw my Office Lady!!! (lol)

But that version of me is shooting a new Weider CM tomorrow, so the Office Lady role I play will come around again. (`_')v prettypretty (`_')v

Everyone, hope that it goes weeellll~!!!!

However,
While I'm acting, I absolutely still want to be a singer. Yup.

Occaaaasionally, I'm naturally grateful to accept the opportunity
to do an acting job like this, and it's fun, but of course,,,,

I am still the me who is a singer!!!!!!!!!!!!

That said, I'm somewhat incoherent right now, but once I'm not sleepy tomorrow, I'll be armed with the actress within~~~~ (~0~)SLEEPY

Goodnight(^.^)smooch*

[213] Hmm....

2008-04-13T21:03:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I want to show you a dream.
It is neverending, and invisible.
I want you to see this kind of dream.

That is my wish...

Show me your smiling face.
Beautiful and radiant.
Even today I go on living,

Just wanting to see that smile...

[212] Aaaaaah~! P.S.!!!

2008-04-11T18:06:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I had a thought that I forgot (haha) to write about just then,
so I'm back.

Okay, so, for this show (this isn't a spoiler so it's okay o/`)
naturally, the usual Peco & Chiharu & Etsu
have been choreographing & arranging some of the dance numbers. However, my dancers Zin & Subaru, as well as Kayanocchi and others, are doing the choreography & arrangement of dance numbers toooo o/`

In addition, directing the on-screen videos, of course Wataru Takeishi, and also Takahide Ishii, did some extremely good work. But..... what!!!!! Our very own MR. KAZ has achieved his directorial debut, making a few of the videos!

So I really want to give eeeeveryone an impression of everything behind the stage being very lovely & sweet.

Keeping that in mind, I want everyone to get in that mood while watching, and I want everyone to enjoy iiit~ o/`

And I'm going off-topic here now, but on Yoyogi's first day, I saw what looked like a black cloth banner with "SUBARU" written in huge pink characters? I think it was in the stands. The timing of it was really random. (laughing)
If you have the chance to come & show it again, please do!
That's the kind of intrusion I don't mind, do it to your heart's content. (hysterical laughter)

[211] Thank you.

2008-04-11T17:30:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

The third day in Yoyogi is finished, and I kept coming here repeatedly & writing messages but erasing them, writing and erasing.... that's the sort of state I'm in.

Somehow, the more I summoned up my happy feelings to turn them into words, the more they seemed phony, the less genuine the message seemed to be.

But I think I've got it now.

Yes, excessive wordiness isn't needed.
Until now I was worried about appearances.

So.... I just want to say, purely & honestly, from my heart, that I love you all and I thank you so very much.

And also, in regards to me, you don't just agree with everything I do, sometimes you've been giving honest but harsh opinions, and I thank you for that.

Just as I was saying at the beginning of the year, the way I currently am, sometimes situations & conditions don't allow me to do things like singing songs & putting on a great show the way I'd like.

Honestly, coming to this place was the result of continuous, violent fights.
However, I asked for you to excuse my ear, and I didn't want to show anything done halfway, but making compromise & giving something up was disagreeable to me.
I'm doing this myself since it was me who chose to continue singing.

I'm sure everyone has many many various worries that they're not showing alot of, saying "Ayu is OKAY!!! (*^_^*)" because they want to create an environment where they can feel more relaxed.
So, this tour, until the end, to all my great friends and all my visitors, I want to send many many great memories one at a time.

Everyone, you are always the source of my power.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.

[210] Finally!!!!!!!!

2008-03-04T20:26:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

It's being released, the ASIA TOUR DVD!!!!!

Finally, everyone gets the Asia Tour DVD!!!!!

This time, we were able to make it so you can watch the concert nonstop from Opening to Encore! Or also,
you'll be able to see clips inserted into the show
with lots & lots of scenes with the tour staff laughing,
crying, surprise situations ☆

The way you watch it is up to you~~~~~ (^-^)v

And my recommendation is to watch...

First, watch the edited show from beginning to end.
Afterwards, when it's over, watch the inserted documentaries.
I think that way's goooood~~~~~...

Why has only this release taken so long to come out?

This, definitely, everyone should be able to understand
once you see the completed DVD.

I believe and hope so.

Look forward to it!!!!!!!!!!!!! (^-^) *kiss*

[209] Now then!!!

2008-03-02T02:28:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

When I wrote before, I briefly mentioned one more new song.
All went well, and now I'm done recordiiiiinnng! \(^O^)/
I have very deep feelings about this song...
I wanted to sing it now, no matter what.

After very specifically defining all my thoughts to the recording staff, we recorded the song.
Because of that, I think it turned out really wonderful!!!
As for further details, maybe I'll be able to explain more to everyone after you've heard the song...
That's what I think anyway.

Incidentally, the song is called "Life".
It's a word I like very much.
It's a song whose theme ended up being "living"...
That's good enough to say for now.

It's a rather painful song, but a positive one too.

So anyway, changing the subject, soon Kaz is going to do the site renewal I'm sure. Silly man. (*^_^*)
I'm really looking forward to it Kaz! .

[208] C'est bon.

2008-02-24T02:31:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I used French in the title, but the phrase means the english word "good", and it's been said quite often.........

Wait, huh?
Before I go into that, I'm back! Me, who hasn't really been saying anything. So now, even though I've kinda blown you off, and I've missed the right times when I could post, I'm gonna talk now. lol

So that "C'est bon", when you say the "bo", the amount of breath you use is pretty small, and I like how it sounds, and even now
it's still hot inside me.
So, that's what I made the title.

Ah, isn't that fun to say??? lol
But but but - change it to "C'est pas bon", and in english
that's "no good".

As for me, I like "C'est bon"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That said, sorry about that really looong introduction. m(__)m
Now, the main subject.

In Paris I was filming the PV for the new song "Mirrorcle World", and it seems that everyone already knew that I was filming the new song's PV there.
I'll leave out all the details though.
But yep, this trip to Paris was my second time in Europe this year.
(I'm leaving out too much.)

But since where I was staying was close to where the shoot was, fans (even kids) from the area all got together and came over to the hotel where I was staying.

And it was REALLY cold out, but every day no matter what they were kind enough to come out, [this part was hard for me to figure out - something about someone saying "okay!" and applause] But I did get to talk to them every now & then, in between shooting,

How come everyone knows these details about me? lol
I was like, AM I REALLY IN FRANCE??? (o_0;)
Really, everyone knowing about it surprised me
& even impressed me.

And also, every day the fans would sing songs like "Who..." and "Voyage" together, all in perfect japanese!!!
Isn't that AWESOME??????? It made me well up! (T_T)
However, the most surprising, was that on the day I went back to Japan, they all got together and sang in a huge chorus,

"Together When..." Oh. Wooooww....

That was all I could say.

"Arigatoutte~ i-itaka-a-taaaa~!
Arigatoutte~ i-enaka-a-taaa~!"
I heard their singing voices but I had to go away quickly, and I started on my way home feeling sad that I had to leave.
Merci! (*^_^*)

So, today I'm waiting to record yet another new song. Off I go! ヾ(^_^)

P.S.:
The PV is UBER-cool so look forward to it!
Of course both songs are very "C'est bon" so it's great!

[206] Waaaaaah~ ∈^0^∋

2008-01-06T10:16:00.000+09:00

Translation from Chinese by babamon

At the moment, the colours in the sky are so.... beautiful!!!

In sequence from top to bottom, there's blue, lake blue, green, yellow, purple, and just above the buildings is dark blue~

Quick go see it everyone~

It's so beautiful that I want to send the news to everyone immediately~ (^_-)-☆

[205] Ummm...

2008-01-05T18:13:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I decided to write again since everyone's messages were so concerning.

So uh.... um.... it's like...

I, as much as I can, and in my own words, have been wanting to tell you all my thoughts on what's been happening. I figured for sure you would all understand.

Um... yeah. I believe that.
So, I'm writing it, you know?
But even though I love my family, and my staff, I didn't even tell them about it.

No... that's not totally true.
Mama (that's Mikajohn) is the only one I told.
That my left ear couldn't hear.

I decided to go to the hospital, because it felt like something terrible had happened to my ear.

It is because of my new ear monitor, I'd say to everyone.

Honestly, when I heard the doctor say it was untreatable, that I'd come to the hospital too late, my mind went blank.

I have to tell you, in my heart, I can't help but wonder that if I'd had an operation done earlier, maybe I'd have been able to save my hearing.

But no.

Even now I can see the doctor's eyes from that moment. They seemed regretful, apologetic...

So, I smiled.

"Dunno why I knew you'd say that, but I should smile!" I said, and I did smile.
The staff, who i love, were all around me in my quiet hospital room.

But, what I'm saying here, I ask you not to see it in a pessimistic way.

I'm just reacting to the truth of all this.

So, I'm trying not to be sad, I want the light of hope to shine, and I want you to please understand.

It's because everyone said things like, that they should become my left ear, and cry out louder & louder so I can hear you more & more.

Right?

So, I go forth with the right ear that I still have.
I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to do.
It would be best for me.

Nothing to worry about!!!!!!!!!!!

From now on, even as things are, I'm gonna keep on going~~~~~!!!
Come on together with me, everyone~~~~~!!!!!!

I want to show you a dream.
It's neverending, It's invisible
This kind of dream, I want to see.
This is my wish.

Thank you, everyone, everyone, everyone...
Thank you, Mama (Mikajohn).
Thank you.

I love you, Aneki.

Let's go on to my 10th year!!!!!!!!!!!!

[204] P.S.

2008-01-04T21:55:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

My resolution this year is tough.

Before the new year, I had an exam on my ears, but my left ear has completely gone deaf, and there's no therapy or treatment that can be done.

Despite that, I still wish to remain a vocalist.

So, until I get to the point where my right ear doesn't work anymore, I'll keep singing.

No giving up.

No making excuses.

I'm a pro, so I'll keep delivering songs that you all can be proud of.

I don't usually like saying "do your best" really, but....

I'm gonna do my best!!!! Definitely!!!

Until that someday...

[200] Digital Single

2007-11-07T21:02:00.000+09:00

Translation by Delirium-Zer0 based on an automated translation. Revision by D-Z to come soon.

This is the first time that I've released a digital single,
and we've finished shooting the cover & the PV.

To end the message, here are "Together When..."'s chorus lyrics:

I wanted to say thank you
But I couldn't say thank you
Because it seems too much like an eternal good-bye

it is too sad
And so if I am reborn one day,
I will probably travel around searching for you.

[199] No Title

2007-11-06T08:52:00.000+09:00

Translation: evolusean

Just the other day, I lost someone very special to me.

To tell the truth, I was panicking right up until the recording...
That I just wouldn't be able to sing.

But watching from the monitor in the greenroom
How everyone looked as they came into the studio,
Some with kind of excited faces, some with really happy faces,
I knew I had to pull it together.

And then somehow I was able to make it through and sing to the end.

And so I really want to thank you.
Thank you for everything.

And thank you Mika John,
For pushing me to go on stage.

[197] I'm in charge of...

2007-10-25T09:47:00.000+09:00

Translation: Criminal and Delirium-Zer0

Torio Band's clothing!
Of course I'm giving it
my best shot！！！And all my time！！！
And all my love to Torio Band! (*^_^*)
It's very rare that a T-shirt is made without mistakes！！！！！
Everyone get well(*^^)v
Details are at Enrique's blog♪

[164] Arararararaa~!!!

2007-02-01T19:32:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

The new song is done and it's good!! ∈^0^∋♪

I want to get it out to everyone quickly. I'm just ITCHING for it!(^x^)

It's a mid-tempo ballad composed by Tetsuya Yukumi & Arranged by HAL.

It was so much fun to do!

Well, tomorrow I'm going to go do a SMAP x SMAP recording! (^_-)-☆

[163] Aah~Aah~ Aaaaahhhaaaaaaaahhh~~~!

2007-01-25T00:47:00.000+09:00

Translation: hiroyuki

Yes, those who have seen the title and are able to sing the song, are remarkable! Correction!!!

Unfortunately, for those who cant understand, here's the answer!!!

It was "Kita No Kuni Kara" by Sada Masashi \(^O^)/ ♪
Hahahahaha~~~~~~\(^O^)/\(^O^)/\(^O^)/

... Hmm no special reason for mentioning this, but it seems to be a perfect time to mention this. [Laughs]

This song has been playing in my head on my way home. I'm very excited. [Supposed to be asleep]

Actually, besides being involved in Live practices, the promotion of both Black and White albums has been rather incredible.

Though I'm a little irritated, with all those appearances in magazines and music shows, please look forward to the broadcast when shown!!!!!
Please don't ignore me!

Oh yeah, the new song must be finished soon~！！！（What's today's date?）
Yes, now must do my best and start recording the song~♪

We must all wait for different kind of things(^・^)chu☆

[157] Ah-ah-aack!!! (LOL)

2006-04-24T21:30:00.000+09:00

Translation: maneayu, Masa, Delirium-Zer0

After the end of today's live, I happened to pass by the announcer girl while she was doing her job, and while I was being carried off by the staff, I went ahead and announced very shyly,

"Thank you very much for coming tonight!"

The way I said it was like an elevator girl! That had us laughing pretty hard.

As I was leaving the venue I got the feeling that alot of you noticed it, so I'm confessing it here!!!!! lol

It was very funny & oh so tense. XD!!

Well, the 2 days in Yoyogi have now passed!
Thank you aaaallll!!!! Heart.

[153] RELEEEEEAAAASSSSE!!!!

2005-09-16T18:03:00.000+09:00

Translation: Devilayu

(A new single's been) released. uhyohyo.
Wa-i Wa-i! (yay)
I've been really impatient for everyone to hear this song, so I'm really happy (you can now)!
Also, since everyone seems to really like the single, I'm even more happy!!!!!

So please show lots of love to the new single...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEAVEN&WILL!!!!!!!

[135] Hullo~.

2004-12-20T21:14:00.000+09:00

Translation: kawai

I have been receiving messages from all of you on how you feel about the new album.
I was reading them with happiness everyday. I thought that I have to ganbatte on creating~~
my eyes just got wet while reading them. Really, seeing that everyone said that this is a good album, oh~~~~ feel so happy!

By the way, thought of having a vote of most popular song in My Story, how do all of you feel about that?
Everyone please comment~

Ah, yes! Thank You to those whom came from Spain!
That place was really the closest that I can get with all of you compared to other places! Hehe~ I had to make hand gesture also when I want to say something because of the glass in between (laughs)
But I feel relaxed with everybody's arrival.
Also, although I know that you all of you knows ayu well (laughs), I just came out with the ring on on that day. (LOL) Iyaiya, I was wearing informal clothing and so forgot totally about taking off the ring.
Although ayu would take note not to wear it during work, but I only noticed that halfway this time, and it feels like "I t's very strange to take it off now!!!" so I just leaved it like that (laughs)
So there's no other meaning to it.

Tomorrow have a CM shooting and thus I have to be up at 8, feeling a bit strange now! Ah~~~~
I have to go to bed early tonight!

Melon is really great at snoring and... recently my children at home are all snoring, what's going on with these? By the way, the one whom leads in the snoring snore like ultrasound wave.
Ahaha---, so cute.

Ha ja, matta ne-- Chu. Chu.

[111] To Everyone...

2004-08-03T15:18:00.000+09:00

Translation: kawai

As all of you might know by now, ayu's producer, max matsurra, also known as officer Matsurra have resigned along with the chairman of the subsidary he belongs to. I'm here because I want to know how all of you's opinion on this matter, which received a lot of attention from all of you. With the matters mentioned on the news and on the internet, I think that everybody has been feeling uneasy by the speculation on the future of Officer Matsurra, chairman of the office and Ayu.

The following writing, written with my own thought, will be sent to the media. I think this would be released on the television and radio from tomorrow onwards. Although everyone might feel uneasy again after reading my message, but I'll definately post message here as the matter progresses. I think that there are different people making an living in fighting. But I think that they are fighting without escaping. Of course I would not want to lose the fight like the rest of you.

Lastly, I really thanks all of you for your concern. Also, sorry for having all of you feeling uneasy. I feel motivated after reading the messages from all of you. Also, Ayu is alright.

actual annoucement

The following is the writing which will be sent to the mass media. To everyone in the mass media. What happened during the last few days has created a stir, and I would like to make my comment regarding this matter.

I feel very sorry that the matter has caused a stir within the record company and the agency that I belong to. But we as artists and human, have a steadfast belief and will that we strides to bring the best entertainment activities to all of you.

And as for my producer Mr. Matsuura, although the Avex without him is still Avex, but I think that he have accepted at the same time that his Avex is already dead when his resignation was accepted.

Since Hamasaki Ayumi and other artistes are depending on each other in order to be standing here today, I've deciced to be with them for where I'm going. With the supportive fans in mind, being together with the people I trust, and walking towards the way which I believe in. I will continue to be strong in my life.

[108] Hohohoho~.

2004-06-27T06:03:00.000+09:00

Translation: everfree2 (Revision by D-Z to come.)

Hello. For long time!
But i check your message, then i don't feel so far from yours.
But as you think what ayu are doing now???
Sorry. i went to LA to take a promotion video and calender and magazine report. ( so i don't think it is a very hard schedule by MAGU) then i fight with a time lose from LA to JAPAN with job about newsingle since return to japan.
Furthermore, the main is magazine's report and take a new CM.
Sooner i will start to take a tv song program and a-nation's rehearsal.
Then i will go to interview.
By the way today is stockholder meeting after live rehearsal.
When will i can meet you?
cant wait ... i love you every days!!

[107] Hooottt!!!

2004-04-20T16:56:00.000+09:00

Translation: kawai

Today is also very hot ne~.

I was happy when I saw the scenary and Marron outside the moving car when I opened the window wide. But it was a bit embarrassing whenever my eyes cross with the pedestrian who were waiting at the junction for the green light.

And now only ‘ã�X–Ø left for the (concert) tour.
The last location for the tour, Sendai was so energizing, really great place with nice feeling.
Mina arigatoooooo~!!!
But I feel a bit of lonelyness after the concert, ne.

The staff and dancers are also feeling that. They were saying things like
"It's going to be over and feeling a bit lonelyness, shall we tour around Japan some more?" Hahaha.

This year's hot summer is coming.....

[75] Changed~.

2003-03-13T18:25:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Yeah. Honestly even ayu isn't used to it yet. (lol)
Keeps me on my toes.

Message after message came, showing everyone's impressions of the site, and up until now I've been reading them. Everyone was able to write the things they wanted only ayu to read.

I can't put it in clever words, but the input was very very good, I thought.

Well, in three months we'll check this over again, but for the time being this will keep us busy, yes?

So I'll talk to you guys later!!!

We see changes every day. Smooch.

[74] hello hello~!

2003-03-12T16:05:00.000+09:00

Translation by Delirium-Zer0

Lately, I've switched to what I'll call a new system. I call it that but really just experimental, trying it for 3 months. Naturally, everyone's had various opinions. Of course, ayu too has varioius thoughts on it. Kaz does too.

But you know, I think ayu is always optimistic about going forth & considering anything.
So the current renewal is just one single part of many things, but on the other hand it seems better than we expected, the part that we have seen change, we can't find fault in, so we should all have faith in what we'll see next.
It's natural to resist new things, and this is kind of a big thing but it's also kind of a small thing, so when it gets right down to it, anyone who's uneasy about this will be apprehensive. But how sufficient is the status quo, even if we stop there and never desire to move forward?

The directions the office has been taken lately will definitely be challenging! Everyone's working together. Assume that we're all striving for the best result, as usual, so this test period isn't useless. Because surely, this aught to reconfirm to everyone how seriously we're taking this.

Now, what the heck are we gonna be seeing over the next three months? Hm? Definitely "suspense and hope rising"!!!!!

Don't worry, everyone... After this, the messages from me to everyone will still be here, as well as Kaz's "monologues" (lol). Afterwards, Bancho & Nonchan and others on the staff will publish a bunch of messages. And after all this, I can properly read everyone's messages about the changes!!!!!
I look forward to your lovely messageeeessss~! Smooch smooch smooch.

Until now, and from now on, we're right here.
And the manager is you, Mister KAZ!
So be nice to him, everyoooonnnnne.

with love ayu-san. heart.

[73] ayu's PC is in bad shaaappe (cry)

2003-03-08T20:32:00.000+09:00

Translation by Delirium-Zer0

And if I buy a new PC, I'm probably going to have to struggle every day figuring out how to use it cuz I won't understand iiit.
There's no way I could do that so I'm sorry. *hangs head*

That said, (how to say this?)
today was TA Live rehearsal but I was singing songs that I'm way too emotionally attached to. But if I'm so emotionally attached to the songs, then I'm sure the performance will definitely seem more authentic. (lol) Sunmason. Contemplation.

But despite that, it doesn't mean that after all this, as far as ayu is concerned, singing isn't incredibly valuable. I can't do without singing & experiencing the songs again. So, I'll continue singing as much as I can and as well as I can. I'm truly grateful, listen carefully please everyone as though it were your first time. I want to meet everyone really soon. Especially since lately, due to so many things going on, I haven't been able to come out and I've been thinking about how much I'm missing. There's so much I want to share with eeeeveryone! Let's definitely make this tour a hit! Yoroshiku!!!

Well then, again, I wuv yoo guys, meow. Smooch.

"From where I am, with the songs I sing,
I can't communicate well enough.
But it's good enough, and would make me happy,
for you to just listen a little bit.
Please, please, never forget."

[48 B] Aaah, i've done it.....

2003-01-11T08:15:00.001+09:00

Translation: Mei (into chinese), kawai (chinese into english))

sigh~after looking at myself not being in gold hair again after 3 years, I just feel that there's a bit of mismatch, something strange about it.
Always asking 'How is it? How is it?' when I meet people.
But after all no one said 'unsuitable'.
Although no one says that, but they will ask 'It will go back to the original colous soon isn't it?'

What do you mean?!?!....

Made me losing my confident already.
But!! After coming here, everyone told me that it's 'very suitable'...
When everyone says that, my confidence are back! Rebirth!!!
lululu
nyanyanaa
happy.... :beat

Bbbuuttt! Because Ayu's last hair colour was too light,
so after about 1 week the hair colour might fade back to the original gold colour!
Hyo...... :sweat
The hairstyle I have now took 5 hours to complete...

But, I'll see about that when time comes.

Oh yes, about the survey, to do it according to what all of you had said is too difficult~
As Ayu watched the one done by KAZ with him yesterday, Ayu was grinning
For this survey, we definately have to collect the results properly.
If possible, I will make a report half way through.
No, it's definately possible. Ganbatte KAZ

full of expection~
By the way, Ayu do visit the BBS here daily, take heart to experience everyone's daily lifes!!

so sayonna :kiss

[48] I did iiiiit~...

2003-01-11T08:15:00.000+09:00

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

Um, yeah, for the first time in 3 years my hair isn't blond, I finally caved... Everyone I meet is like "wtf?". Well, as expected, things like "It's not you" haven't been said but I'm getting "Aren't you gonna go back to the old color" ...
BUT! On my way here everyone said it suits me, so I'm REALLY all bouncy & happy.
Meow-meow-meoowww.
I feel like a kid!
Butbutbut! It's like ayu's natural color. So maybe it is kinda going back to the old color. Waaahh
Well, this time I'm only thinking about the present again!
Oh, by the way, Kaz put together a survey that I saw when we last got together. I saw it but even I'm worried, lol.
This survey...
No, I can do it! Come on!! Let's go!!! >KAZ
Much fun stuff~.
I look at ayu-san's fan club BBS every day.
I TOTALLY feel what you guys are feeling today.
See ya later! *kisses!*

[??] BOIOIOIOOOOOIIIINNG!!!

2002-12-29T20:05:00.000+09:00

Translation: yatsuda & Delirium-Zer0

The title is Ayu's feeling at the moment (laughs).

Today was the Countdown's rehearsal.
I borrowed Non-chan's PC that's in the studio's waiting room to write.

The last 2 days are going to be the best so look forward to them!!!

And...
This time something that's going to surprise everyone a little is going to happen. Hehehehehehe! Meeoooowwww.

Well now, tomorrow is the costume rehearsal. I'll do my beeeeeee~st!!!!! Everything will be prepared.

Thanks everyone for always giving me strengh ("chikara"). Well then, I'll
return home very soon.

Good night!!!!!!! chu.