[205] Ummm...

Translation: Delirium-Zer0

I decided to write again since everyone's messages were so concerning.

So uh.... um.... it's like...

I, as much as I can, and in my own words, have been wanting to tell you all my thoughts on what's been happening. I figured for sure you would all understand.

Um... yeah. I believe that.
So, I'm writing it, you know?
But even though I love my family, and my staff, I didn't even tell them about it.

No... that's not totally true.
Mama (that's Mikajohn) is the only one I told.
That my left ear couldn't hear.

I decided to go to the hospital, because it felt like something terrible had happened to my ear.

It is because of my new ear monitor, I'd say to everyone.

Honestly, when I heard the doctor say it was untreatable, that I'd come to the hospital too late, my mind went blank.

I have to tell you, in my heart, I can't help but wonder that if I'd had an operation done earlier, maybe I'd have been able to save my hearing.

But no.

Even now I can see the doctor's eyes from that moment. They seemed regretful, apologetic...

So, I smiled.

"Dunno why I knew you'd say that, but I should smile!" I said, and I did smile.
The staff, who i love, were all around me in my quiet hospital room.

But, what I'm saying here, I ask you not to see it in a pessimistic way.

I'm just reacting to the truth of all this.

So, I'm trying not to be sad, I want the light of hope to shine, and I want you to please understand.

It's because everyone said things like, that they should become my left ear, and cry out louder & louder so I can hear you more & more.

Right?

So, I go forth with the right ear that I still have.
I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to do.
It would be best for me.

Nothing to worry about!!!!!!!!!!!

From now on, even as things are, I'm gonna keep on going~~~~~!!!
Come on together with me, everyone~~~~~!!!!!!

I want to show you a dream.
It's neverending, It's invisible
This kind of dream, I want to see.
This is my wish.

Thank you, everyone, everyone, everyone...
Thank you, Mama (Mikajohn).
Thank you.

I love you, Aneki.

Let's go on to my 10th year!!!!!!!!!!!!